Best Job Ever

So today I had a conversation with a client’s friend that I’ve had many times, but haven’t had in a while. It’s always some variation of the following, and it always leaves me shaking my head on the inside:

Dolt: So, do you do ALL kinds of piercings?

Me: Yes.

Dolt: So, like, you get to see girls boobs as part of your job?

Me: *thinking “Oh Chirst, here we go again.”* Yes, I do female nipple piercings.

Dolt: Man, you’ve got the best job ever!

Me: I definitely love my job. Just keep in mind, I also pierce penises as part of my job.

Dolt: *face screwed up in some sort of horrified expression* Oh man! Your job sucks!

Me: *internal sigh* Nope, I’ve go the best job ever.

Having done this job a while now, I’ve seen people do really weird stuff and say some really ridiculous shit while in the shop, or more often, in the piercing room. There isn’t a whole lot that really surprises me anymore. However, this conversation still gets me a little bit each and every time.

Maybe I don’t want to believe that the people I have this convesation with are truly that short-sighted or just plain ignorant.

Time-and-time again though, they prove me wrong.

Eleven Years In the Making

I'm a professional body piercer. I've been piercing full-time for nearly twelve years. I love my job; my career. It has brought me an amazing amount of joy and satisifaction. It has also brought many interesting, amazing, odd, strange and downright weird people into my life. As you may, or may not, expect, some of the strangest are the ones who seem the most normal from the outside-looking-in and many of those who you might expect to be a walking freakshow are the most grounded, seemingly well-adjusted personalities you could ever hope to meet. The impossibility of easily labelling or classifying the people I meet is one of the aspects of my job I love the most.

Like most professional piercers, I've pierced people from almost every imaginable profession: mechanics to mothers, professional athletes to priests, lawyers to live-in nurses, strippers to stock brokers. I've modified the bodies of young children (earlobes only) and those old enough to have collected social security checks for nearly ten years, and every age in between. I've done piercings on people whose sole motivation seemed to be nothing more than the urging of members of their social circle and I've done piercings that hold meaning more important and more powerful than many people could begin to understand. I've done piercings on individuals whose motivation(s) I couldn't begin to comprehend.

Everyday is interesting...some more than others, but always interesting. In the course of one particular week I was asked out on a date, called a jerk, almost had a few of my fingers bitten off and I was farted on. As I recall, that was a pretty good week.

The "plan", such as it is, for this blog is to put down in writing my thoughts, experiences, observations and stories about the things I do...have done...and the people I meet... have met. Most will be my stories, but when appropriate...or maybe for pure entertainment...I may delve into reserves of stories that belong to some of my friends and colleagues who share this unique profession with me.

For the moment, this blog will remain anonymous for a variety of reasons. Rest assured, any names that appear have been changed to protect the innocent, the guilty and/or the bizarre.